01 Oct The muscle you’re losing matters more than the weight you’re gaining
October 1st, 2026
Simon told me he wanted to lose 15kg and feel 5 years younger. I offered him 10kg and 15 years younger instead.
I speak to people every day about health, energy levels and physique. If you ask most men over 40 what’s changed about their body you’ll hear the same thing: “I’ve put on weight.” The trousers are getting snug, a belly has arrived uninvited, and the scales (best avoided these days) would agree.
This is fair enough. It’s visible, so we obsess over it. But something else is happening at the same time, and it’s far quieter.
The change that the camera can’t see
From our 30s onwards, we gradually lose muscle mass and strength. Estimates vary, but somewhere in the region of 3-8% per decade is commonly quoted, and the pace picks up later in life. Add a desk job, a commute that’s now a walk to the kitchen, and a family timetable that eats into your training time, and that slide speeds up.
There’s no moment where it announces itself. You just notice, one day, that you’d rather not walk up the escalator. Or that getting up off the floor after playing with the kids now involves a noise (“oof”), and you subconsciously use your hand to push you off the sofa. Or that your twinge in your back makes itself known more frequently after an hour of, well anything.
Why muscle matters beyond appearance
This isn’t about looking good in a T-shirt (although that is a nice bonus). Muscle is the tissue that enables you to DO things. Carry a tired four-year-old home from the park. Tackle the DIY, have an impromptu kickabout, keep up on a hike without secretly struggling and eventually falling back.
It’s also your metabolic engine. Muscle needs more energy to maintain itself than any other tissue, so as it disappears, your calorie needs drop… and what you used to eat without consequence gets stored instead. A good portion of “my metabolism has slowed” is really “I have less muscle than I used to”.
Crucially, stronger muscles also mean fewer injuries, and better bouncebackabilty when life throws you a setback. That’s the ‘Autumn’ of strength I wrote about in The Four Seasons of Strength: resilience.
Why endless dieting and cardio isn’t the answer
Even today, with the reams of research screaming the opposite, many folks’ standard response to weight gain is to eat less and run more. Both have their place, but on their own they come with a catch. Lose weight without strength training and a big proportion of what you lose is muscle. You end up lighter, but not stronger… often weaker, with an even lower calorie burn than before. That’s a recipe for the weight creeping straight back. (And so are GLP-1s, but I’ll deal with that another day).
Cardiovascular work is crucial for health of your heart and lungs…it just isn’t designed to protect the muscle you need to hold on to.
Strength training isn’t bodybuilding
I can almost hear the objection: “I’m don’t want to get too bulky, or look like a bodybuilder.” Good. You won’t, and for the record, neither do I. Strength training simply means asking your muscles to work against resistance, progressively, so they have a reason not to wither away. Dumbbells, bands, a kettlebell in the corner of the living room or a gym… all count.
And it needn’t torpedo your week. Two or three well-designed sessions of 30-40 minutes (and yes, even 20 during a tough week) can go a very long way. Big, compound movements: a squat, a hinge, a push, a pull, a carry. Add a little more load or an extra rep over time. Consistency beats heroics, every time.
What does ‘strong enough’ mean for a dad?
Forget numbers on a bar for a moment. Here’s my working definition:
- Can you get down to the floor and back up again without a struggle?
- Can you carry the shopping, the suitcases, or a sleeping child without a second thought?
- Can you play, hike or get an afternoon of DIY or proper gardening done – and feel fine tomorrow?
- Can you keep up with the kids now, and be confident that you’ll still be able to in ten years’ time?
Answer “yes” to these at age 50 and you’re ahead of most. Still “yes” at 70 and you’ve given your future self a serious gift.
Don’t just aim to weigh less at 50
By all means, keep an eye on your weight. It matters. But don’t let it be the only number you care about. The man who’s 5kg lighter but weaker isn’t better off than the one who’s slightly heavier but can DO considerably more.
My challenge: don’t just aim to weigh less at 50. Aim to be more capable. Simon has lost 7kg so far; just over a ‘stone’ in ‘old money’. But he’s just hit 50 and feels 35 years old. That’s a win.
Ayo Williams